Get my fill
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Get my fill
How do I do it? I keep hearing(reading) this expression.....Can one make themselves get thier fill? I don't wanna spend the rest of my life a drunken sot, yet I can't seem to "get full"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I hope someone can help you with this. I wasted years trying to quit, until last year in October when i really believe i had my fill! I guess i am just lucky to have got to that stage and had the sense to get help at that time. Wish you all the best and can only suggest that you go to someone who will answer your question through proven methids, maybe like me an alcohol counselor or AA?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
I've been at this so many times I feel silly. Posting this makes me feel like an ass. I just know there are people reading my crap and saying "this clown again, he's never gonna get it"....and that's how I feel. I can't "get full". I want to but cannot.
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
some of us go to the gates of insanity or death. You will know when you have had your fill......
I was at the jumping off place.....they talk about it in the big book. Could not live with alcohol, and could not see a life without it....I was sick and tired of been sick and tired.
my Life was full of sayings like....
This time will be different. Hey - check it out…
Ouch, this feeling sucks. How did I get here.........I had enough of it........I was full !!!
oh and BTW none of us can afford to judge you.......not me anyway......keep coming back!!!
bb quote alcoholics anonymous.
First Edition
I was at the jumping off place.....they talk about it in the big book. Could not live with alcohol, and could not see a life without it....I was sick and tired of been sick and tired.
my Life was full of sayings like....
This time will be different. Hey - check it out…
“Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.”
Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
oh and BTW none of us can afford to judge you.......not me anyway......keep coming back!!!
I just know there are people reading my crap and saying "this clown again, he's never gonna get it"....
First Edition
Last edited by CarolD; 03-07-2009 at 07:27 AM. Reason: Added source as per SR Rules
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Why not make a list of the Pros and Cons of your drinking?
Not to share here but for your own clarity.
Then you may see reasons for you to finally stop.
Welcome back to sR....
Not to share here but for your own clarity.
Then you may see reasons for you to finally stop.
Welcome back to sR....
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Similar to nelco's post:
I got to a point, a moment of clarity, where I knew that I could not drink anymore and that I needed help. It was a scary realization but in retrospect one of the best things that ever happened to me.
At best, alcohol would give me a couple of hours of excitement or peace (depending on why I was drinking). It would quickly turn into an out of control blackout. The remorse, fear, and shame when I came to was almost unbearable. It was getting worse. I was fearing for my sanity.
Also, I had tried quitting on my own over & over but always ended up in the same place or worse. I did not know how to quit drinking. So, logically, if I don't know how to do something, I have to rely on the wisdom & guidance of others (for me AA, SR, my Elders, spiritual books).
I have not had a drink in over 14 months. I have no need or desire to drink. I have had my fill.
The other thing I want to add is that I believe that we can determine our own "bottom". Yes, some of us go to the gates of insanity or death but for many of us it is enough to see what is in store for us if we continue on with our drinking. Just like AA, drinking has it's own "promises".
I got to a point, a moment of clarity, where I knew that I could not drink anymore and that I needed help. It was a scary realization but in retrospect one of the best things that ever happened to me.
At best, alcohol would give me a couple of hours of excitement or peace (depending on why I was drinking). It would quickly turn into an out of control blackout. The remorse, fear, and shame when I came to was almost unbearable. It was getting worse. I was fearing for my sanity.
Also, I had tried quitting on my own over & over but always ended up in the same place or worse. I did not know how to quit drinking. So, logically, if I don't know how to do something, I have to rely on the wisdom & guidance of others (for me AA, SR, my Elders, spiritual books).
I have not had a drink in over 14 months. I have no need or desire to drink. I have had my fill.
The other thing I want to add is that I believe that we can determine our own "bottom". Yes, some of us go to the gates of insanity or death but for many of us it is enough to see what is in store for us if we continue on with our drinking. Just like AA, drinking has it's own "promises".
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 36
Not sure how to quote a quote:
“Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair." Where is this in the 4th edition?
Amy
“Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair." Where is this in the 4th edition?
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
ruch,
That's a tough question to answer. Each of us has to reach a point in our lives when we feel that not drinking would be much better than drinking, even if we don't become totally different people overnight. I reached a point in my life when alcohol did not quiet the inner demons of my discontent anymore. It wasn't life-shattering, there were no court cases involved, I wasn't about to lose a job, home or family. It came to me rather quietly, while watching my so-called friends at the bar and realizing I had become just like them, the hard-core town drunks. It took me a few days to find this website, however this group here is helping me do what I could not do alone.
Alcohol will never fill the emptiness within us. I tried to get full for over thirty years, and today I feel fuller than I've felt in a long time, just being sober. Wait a minute, maybe that huge bowl of homemade beef stew helped a little, lol.
Keep trying and another suggestion is to begin posting to help others find their way. It helps you as you help others.
That's a tough question to answer. Each of us has to reach a point in our lives when we feel that not drinking would be much better than drinking, even if we don't become totally different people overnight. I reached a point in my life when alcohol did not quiet the inner demons of my discontent anymore. It wasn't life-shattering, there were no court cases involved, I wasn't about to lose a job, home or family. It came to me rather quietly, while watching my so-called friends at the bar and realizing I had become just like them, the hard-core town drunks. It took me a few days to find this website, however this group here is helping me do what I could not do alone.
Alcohol will never fill the emptiness within us. I tried to get full for over thirty years, and today I feel fuller than I've felt in a long time, just being sober. Wait a minute, maybe that huge bowl of homemade beef stew helped a little, lol.
Keep trying and another suggestion is to begin posting to help others find their way. It helps you as you help others.
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
Hi Amy08, That quote is from the chapter called "A VISION FOR YOU"
BB quote alcoholics anonymous first edition
For most of normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand.
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy with his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Someday he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping off place. He will wish for the end.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand.
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy with his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Someday he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping off place. He will wish for the end.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lincoln
Posts: 201
Originally Posted by ruch 
How do I do it? I keep hearing(reading) this expression.....Can one make themselves get thier fill? I don't wanna spend the rest of my life a drunken sot, yet I can't seem to "get full"
As somebody still looking for answers myself, I know there is no magic pill. Its difficult without knowing you what could work. Generally my ideas I have gleemed which have helped (or I am going to try!) for myself include
Carols idea of writing down the pros and cons of drinking
is a good idea.
Make sure you don't have any underlying medical condition get checked out by a doctor.
Possibly discuss with doctor drugs that are available specifically for alcoholism
Read books on dealing with addiction.
My doctor unusually suggested reading fiction.
Give group therapy such as AA a try.
Do voluntary work.
Pray, meditate, acupuncture or something else that can help you relax
Right down the benefits of sobriety.
Never give up keep at doing things to improve your life.
Get a dog.
Make lists of thing to do. Make your day constructive
Get a hobby.
Have short term and long term attainable goals.
Go to night classes.
Improve your diet.
Exercise.
Take all help that is offered for all areas of your life.
And perhaps personally as a birder, I find walking in woodland listening to birds sing in spring very soothing.
Hopefully you will find a solution and path to recovery without making your situation worse.
Gold Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: It's raining again!
Posts: 2,494
Being an alcoholic we never get our fill until we die. We can go on a diet of not drinking and fill ourselves up with other things such as God, AA, church, and recovery. We can learn new things by going back to school, read a book, try a new sport,but once we pick up that drink again we will know thurst that we never knew before. The alcoholism wants us to drink ourselves to death that's it's goal. I personally surrendered to win. Meaning I knew I could not drink safe any more,so I gave up any ideas that I could. I went into recovery (AA was my choice) to help me over come those thoughts about getting my fill once again. Chose any recovery path you want and stick with it. I miss drinking at times,but I do not miss the bad stuff that goes with it,so I stay sober. I do hope you understand that you will never get your fill of drinking,but you can get your fill of the bull **** that goes with it and get into recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,861
Wish I could give you a deifinite concrete answer. The sad truth is that many will not accept help, whether from AA or anywhere else until they have little or no choice.
BB page 25.
That is the core of the AA program, that is not a message of fear but one of hope. We, who work the AA program have found this to be the key to a new life. It can be yours as well. There are a few of us from Philly and the surrounding area here, Keep posting
If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe
there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were
in a position where life was becoming impossible, and
if we had passed into the region from which there is
no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives:
One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out
the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best
we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.
there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were
in a position where life was becoming impossible, and
if we had passed into the region from which there is
no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives:
One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out
the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best
we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.
That is the core of the AA program, that is not a message of fear but one of hope. We, who work the AA program have found this to be the key to a new life. It can be yours as well. There are a few of us from Philly and the surrounding area here, Keep posting
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
ruch, I would err on the side of caution when people tell you to "get your fill"...the consequences of this can be devastating. I think that most people would agree that we quit only when we want sobriety more than we want to be "drunks". You are free to ride the elevator to the basement or you can choose to get off at any floor this is entirely up to you.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I have never heard about "get your fill" regarding alcoholism. Looking back, after almost 3 months of sobriety, sure I had my fill...but I only see that now. If I was told to "get my fill" while I was drinking, I likely would have died. Not sure who said that to you, or where you're hearing it from, but it sounds ridiculous to me. You will be done when YOU decide it, and when you want sobriety more than you want to be drunk. Maybe this is how I now think of it as having my share, having my drinking career, and being done. There's no way I could have felt this without getting sober though.
If you want to stop, get the help you need now. The way I drank, and I'll say it again, I wouldn't have had my 'fill' before it killed me, and I am glad I didn't wait that long!
If you want to stop, get the help you need now. The way I drank, and I'll say it again, I wouldn't have had my 'fill' before it killed me, and I am glad I didn't wait that long!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Thank you all for the replies and advice. I made an appointment to see my primary doctor tomorrow. For the first time I am going to be honest with him about the alarming amount I drink. I am hoping to get a referral so that I can talk to a professional in addictions to begin working on this problem.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
sorry ruch.....only read the orignal post you made....my only expereince is that i stopped trying to get full and started trying to get sober....i'll never be full (hug)
hey..i been trying to do this deal since 1985 and i'm at 20 mos...i'm not laughin or losing patience at all
hey..i been trying to do this deal since 1985 and i'm at 20 mos...i'm not laughin or losing patience at all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Thanks ananda......Well, I'm on day 7. I spoke to my primary doctor on Thursday but he really wasn't much help when it comes to stopping drinking. He's just interested in my physical well being. He took blood, etc...all the usual stuff. Hopefully those tests don't come back too bad.
I'm in the process of looking for a treatment center which will take my insurance, where I can go for outpatiant treatment. I need to get to the root of this mentally.
I'm in the process of looking for a treatment center which will take my insurance, where I can go for outpatiant treatment. I need to get to the root of this mentally.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Thanks Carol. The treament program I inquired about has a requirement of atleast 3 AA meetings a week during the intial month. So it looks like I am going to join AA anyway. Before treatment begins I will find meetings nearby to begin attending.
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