this is exactly what i was talking about in my post a few days ago.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-i-do-him.html
it's that "the world owes me something" complex.
if I had a dime for everytime my A has said "no one else could ever understand what i go through everyday, what a struggle it is for me to just WAKE UP" then I would be a very rich woman.
i think, in active recovery, it is an excuse that the addiction uses to keep using because no one else could ever understand. but, I also think it's just part of the personality.
when i was staying at home with our son, i did 98 percent of the cleaning. but, every now and then, when he would help me clean (vacuum, dishes, laundry, bathroom, whatever), i could pretty much bet on what he would say after it was all said and done with: "i think that is the cleanest that room has ever been."
he didn't say it in a mean way, just like he honestly, truly believed that his hard work was in some way different from the hard work that i performed several times a week.
but i've had to refrain myself from smacking him quite a few times when i said "it looks the same freaking way it looked last week you just didnt notice it because you didn't do it."