cessy - time to do your homework on what drugs/alcohol do to the brain, the parts of the brain affected, how long the brain is affected even in abstinence, and the behaviors that come out of that affected brain.
The person you're living with has had his brain hijacked. He does not know it, and we loved ones keep forgetting it because they don't look different on the outside. You will not know his personality positives/negatives until he has had a good deal of recovery under his belt.