WW,
"My ex husband did threat me despite he was a sober person like me (never been drunk) and he had been drunk twice in his life, he is a verbal abuser and controling, which was very hard to see, cause he turned like that under pressure, so as long as everything was good, he was perfect, I lost my job and we almost lost our house and he turned very emotionally abusive and everything was my fault, the day he threaten to hurt the dogs was the day I broke up and I will do it again..."
Life is messy. It will be messy with new guy too. All of our lives are messy and filled wiht ups and downs. No way to control it. Why do you want to wait around to "see" if things get to the violent/abusive stage when you have already had glimpses of it coming from him?
Miss