Fair enough, Paul. I know that you have struggled with AA for a long time. No one can accuse you of not trying. There is nothing wrong with deciding the program isn't for you. You came to the conclusion and sought other programs to help. You are even blazing new trails. In doing so, you may be opening the door for many people to find help and recovery they never would have found otherwise. You are putting your energy in finding a different solution instead of giving up. I think that is terrific.