I don't think it is crazy. Hell, I tried controlling my drinking for two years or something before I could really admit to myself that I was powerless or whatever. I really feel like I had to do that because I needed those experiments to prove it to me. But also you bring up abuse, I probably shouldn't say this but I also think I needed the alcohol to cope with the initial dealings of really fully bringing up the issues of sexual abuse. When those started surfacing I even started smoking cigarettes again to cope. It was strange. Then when I got through that patch which was so difficult of a few months of really feeling (as much as you can while still drinking which was plenty enough...) I was "ready" to stop drinking for real and set a date for quitting and have since stuck to it and really committed myself to working to that. I sometimes wonder how much going through that period of sort of deep depression/resurgence of feelings of that past abuse had to do with sort of the preparation for getting sober. Maybe your counselor wants to work on the ptsd and thinks that moderation will work better while you focus on that and then after you tackle the ptsd you can be more prepared for sobriety.
As for being abused and being an alcoholic, I have been trying to read up on this more. I started looking through electronic databases of scholarly articles I can access through my public library. The statistics are something like 70% of addicts have suffered childhood abuse and/or trauma. Women who suffer abuse in childhood are twenty times more likely to become alcoholics than their peers who do not suffer abuse. So you are not alone. What blows my mind is how little abuse and trauma is talked about in the recovery community. I think that this is a major, major failing since they seem so intrinsically linked. Even rats who are abused are more likely to drink. But I still have to keep reading up on all this stuff.