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Old 02-24-2009, 08:54 PM
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new thread that sounds stupid?


well this is a new thought from my counselor at IOP?
i keep relasping, every time i do, i feel so shamed and worthless, and i never want to go back to IOP or AA?
but i have came back, time after time? after alot of encouragment from them!
my counselor, sorry )sp?) is at her wit's end, trying to help me? so they have decided to give me a drinking schedule, and i know many of you will not agree, but it just might work for me? i am allowed so many drinks on, such a nite, have to stay sober for groups and AA, etc?

it is like when i am on a diet, all i think about is food and i eat mre than normal?
i started drinking in my 20's and even tho my brother drank every other nite, i was the one that my family disowned because of my drinking? long story, lol
would like to hear your comments on this
ty so much, happy sober nite to all!
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:20 PM
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Originally Posted by jowinbo View Post
well this is a new thought from my counselor at IOP?
i keep relasping, every time i do, i feel so shamed and worthless, and i never want to go back to IOP or AA?
but i have came back, time after time? after alot of encouragment from them!
my counselor, sorry )sp?) is at her wit's end, trying to help me? so they have decided to give me a drinking schedule, and i know many of you will not agree, but it just might work for me? i am allowed so many drinks on, such a nite, have to stay sober for groups and AA, etc?

it is like when i am on a diet, all i think about is food and i eat mre than normal?
i started drinking in my 20's and even tho my brother drank every other nite, i was the one that my family disowned because of my drinking? long story, lol
would like to hear your comments on this
ty so much, happy sober nite to all!

I'm not sure how that is supposed to work. Unless of course you're not an alcoholic. Could it be that what the counselor is trying to explain something to you and you misunderstood? Can recall words from AA, if you don't think you have a problem, try a little controlled drinking.

Bottom line, can't imagine any competent alcoholism counselor suggesting that you try to control your drinking as a method of achieving sobriety. The quicker the alcohol is completely out of your system the better off you'll be, assuming of course that you want to get sober. Good luck.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:26 PM
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Originally Posted by jowinbo View Post
so they have decided to give me a drinking schedule, and i know many of you will not agree, but it just might work for me? i am allowed so many drinks on, such a nite, have to stay sober for groups and AA, etc?
Whoa...! I can't believe what I'm reading here, J! I guess this is for real but I cannot for the life of me believe they'd give you a drinking schedule!!! Hon, this is just NOT right!... and is totally BIZARRE!!!

I know that this may hurt your feelings or create unrest in you, but if you post a thread like this it's gonna open a lot of opinions from others that may have some thoughts that you're possibly going to disagree with. Sorry. This is insane because WE ALL go thru the extreme guilt and shameful feelings when we're hittin' the booze over and over again. That's the nature of the beast! To continue drinking when DRINKING IS THE SYMPTOM & KEY TO MANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS... is going to hurt YOU and will be playing a dangerous game with you. Forget sobriety until you give it up entirely!

These are just my opinions, J. I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way. It's not you I find "insane" it's the people who suggested this to you and the INSANITY OF THE DRINK!!! Please re-consider your schedule.... Maybe think of a schedule like "Just for this hour, I will not drink".... "minute, second, etc"!

Hugs! :ghug3
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:27 PM
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Maybe I'm being dumb but what is IOP and is the counselor a special addiction counselor?
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:28 PM
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How many times have you relapsed? Do you know what triggers your relapses? How long do your relapses last?
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted by sfgirl View Post
Maybe I'm being dumb but what is IOP and is the counselor a special addiction counselor?
Hi SFgirl... Thought I'd butt in and answer this for ya.. IOP stands for INTENSIVE OUT-PATIENT. The alternative to residential treatment.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:33 PM
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Jow, it doesn't make much sense to me either.

Why they would suggest this? There must be more to it?

An alcoholic is supposed to stick to a drinking schedule? Good luck!

Maybe it work work for a day or two, or even three...

Then, open the hatch, bombs away...there goes the schedule!
Right back to the start and all the misery that goes with it.

If you can just get it out of your system totally, you're cravings will fade with time.

So.....quit.
Totally.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:51 PM
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thank you all for the replies

well i do not know, was just a suggestion? i rebell, then when i do relapse, i think of the worst thing possibe? i beat myself up so bad, but then that is the thing i need to get over....i am not good to myself, drunk or sober, hence the couseling? i do not know what to think, she is trying her hardest to help me. i am old and stubborn and a creature of habit...sorry
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:57 PM
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Hi Jowinbo...

YOU have nothing to be sorry for! If anything, I probably should have chilled first before reacting so vehemently to your post about THEIR SUGGESTIONS! I'm sorry! I care about YOU and just want you to have good support all around you who can truly help you through this journey!

I know there's alot of frustration for you and seemingly for others helping you right now. There's probably other resources out there too that can help you or give you additional options for help???! You are so deserving of recovery and sobriety! Give yourself that chance, GF! You're so not alone!

:ghug
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:01 PM
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In my experience controlled drinking is as hard as full on drinking..

But thats because im a alcoholic....when i had a "brief" attempt at control,

Every waking moment was taken up by thinking of the next drink..

Absolute torture.......

This may not be you....who am i to question a proffesional..

But if you were disowned by your family then surely you had big drinking problems.....??

Why drip feed the monster..........i just dont get it...

wishing you well...........trucker
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:07 PM
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thanks nicki!

i am a very abused person, and have never dealt with it? do not take me wrong here, we all have abuse issues. i have ptsd, along with depression. i am not trying to make excuses for myself, am just trying to do what i can to get sober? alot of people will dissagree, but nothing else has helped so i will try this! i am very stuborn and independent, i raised 3 kids, all are clean, sober, praise the Lord!
i have to try my options, else my other option is not good! ty for caring

:ghug
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:10 PM
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my thearpist is trying to get me to the point that i will not rebel? does that make sense?
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:14 PM
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i am backwards?

now the i have permission to drink 2 days a week, i do not feel like drinking at all? i am just plain weird, lol?
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:24 PM
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I don't think it is crazy. Hell, I tried controlling my drinking for two years or something before I could really admit to myself that I was powerless or whatever. I really feel like I had to do that because I needed those experiments to prove it to me. But also you bring up abuse, I probably shouldn't say this but I also think I needed the alcohol to cope with the initial dealings of really fully bringing up the issues of sexual abuse. When those started surfacing I even started smoking cigarettes again to cope. It was strange. Then when I got through that patch which was so difficult of a few months of really feeling (as much as you can while still drinking which was plenty enough...) I was "ready" to stop drinking for real and set a date for quitting and have since stuck to it and really committed myself to working to that. I sometimes wonder how much going through that period of sort of deep depression/resurgence of feelings of that past abuse had to do with sort of the preparation for getting sober. Maybe your counselor wants to work on the ptsd and thinks that moderation will work better while you focus on that and then after you tackle the ptsd you can be more prepared for sobriety.

As for being abused and being an alcoholic, I have been trying to read up on this more. I started looking through electronic databases of scholarly articles I can access through my public library. The statistics are something like 70% of addicts have suffered childhood abuse and/or trauma. Women who suffer abuse in childhood are twenty times more likely to become alcoholics than their peers who do not suffer abuse. So you are not alone. What blows my mind is how little abuse and trauma is talked about in the recovery community. I think that this is a major, major failing since they seem so intrinsically linked. Even rats who are abused are more likely to drink. But I still have to keep reading up on all this stuff.
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:34 PM
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It sounds like your doing some harm reduction (HR)..IMO a good thing. Whatever brings you closer to a healthy lifestyle and harm reduction can help. I started to practice HR after a year or so of being in relapse mode. I would abstain as long as I was ready to...all the wile staying in treatment with groups and counseling. as time went by I put more and more days between my drinking nights.
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:35 PM
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ty sfgrl for the comfort, yes abuse is rampant in our society, it is so sad! my own mother abused me, i need to get over this! but i thank God i did not do the same to my kids! yes, i understand your abuse totally! i am so glad you have conqured all this!!!!! good for you!!!
no, they do not dicuss childhood abuse much, cause in AA you have to own up to your part in thngs? well that is ok, but when you are abused since you were born? well what can i say!!!! hagn! and ty
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:38 PM
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Actually this is a therapy tool my first substance abuse counselor used on me when I refused to quit drinking and go to AA. He said 'ok , you can control your drinking...let's make a drinking schedule'...and his point was made...because I could never stick to the schedule...and I went to my first AA meeting, and it's the best thing in my life I could have done.!
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:42 PM
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thanks zencat

what is HR? that maybe what they are trying to do? every time i relaspe, i want to harm myself?
is that what you mean?

hagn God bless
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:45 PM
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I don't know if your abuse was sexual or not but I highly recommend the book

Recovering from Sexual Abuse, Addictions, and Compulsive Behaviors: "Numb" Survivors by Sandra Knauer

Warning: it is highly triggering and pretty much was what started me on those two months of really thinking/feeling deeply instead of just remembering incidents and numbing out which is what I had done my whole life.

Another couple of books I totally recommend which reframe the AA twelve steps for people like you and me who have been abused and I, personally at first I think because of that fact, and because I am a woman, had some issues with the language of sort of AA pegging me as this liar addict with moral defects or whatever. These books reframe and rewrite it so that it comes at you more gently and in a way that I understood or could relate to a lot better:

A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps Workbook by Stephanie S. Covington Ph. D.
A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps by Stephanie S. Covington Ph. D.
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:51 PM
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thanks!

i will look for the books online!

thanks for all your help!

:praying
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