This is my first post on the board
I've been married 11 years and the last 2 years have been a "struggle" with my AH. I begged he promised to stop I begged he promised - you get the picture. Anyway about 36 days ago I had it and said enough and told him either go to rehab or pack and leave. He left but then came back an hour later and said he'd go to rehab
Luckily we are 20 minutes from one of the top treatment centers in the country so boom he was there. After the first week he called me and for the first time in his life he sounded alive and he even said it too. OK he was there for 30 days and all our visits were fabulous and he and I talked for hours and I was doing my Alanon and did the family week blah blah.
He came home this past Wed I was nervous but excited and so was he (he missed the dog, lol). That night he went to AA and I went to Alanon. Next day was good he went to his AA and he was meditating, etc. I will say I was not understanding on why he refused to take the Campral anymore when he had been taking it three times a day for his entire stay. My thought is take all the help you can get (but I kept that to myself).
This weekend all he is doing is laying around the house doing nothing just like he did before treatment. Yet when he was in rehab he was so proud of himself b/c he did laundry, cleaned, etc.
Last night he slipped going into a store and hurt his back (he has sciatica nerve pain and a bad disc). He asked if I had any pain pills from my surgery a few months ago and I about fell over but I told him no I had thrown them away. But said to take Tylenol or use a heating pad or see a doctor - he smiles and says it is fine. All day today he waits till I leave the room to get up and move so I don't see him in pain. So with this he is saying it is too cold to go to AA and today he said he woke up too late to make the meeting. We live in a BIG city and there are tons and tons of meetings - not to mention he hasn't gotten a sponsor yet and that was one of the requirements from the treatment ctr when he left.
I just see all the happiness draining out of him and although he is not drinking all the personalities of the drinker are returning. He is a stubborn man and I just hate to watch him take what he learned/experienced and enjoyed at rehab and throw it away whether he's drinking or not. Should I call his counselor/therapist at the treatment center? I know he needs to handle his own recovery and I accept that BUT........
I just love him so much
and at the same time realize I can't hold his hand in this. I just don't want to miss the sliver of a chance to get him help to get him through this rough spot (either by calling his counselor or ???)