Katie, I honestly don't think anyone is trying to judge you, I have to say that in many ways, I question what is truly going on with you.
Again, this is from my experience as well. I was like you in the way that I wanted to save everyone else, but at the time, I couldn't even get any amt of time built up where I didn't have any drugs or alcohol in me . . . I couldn't save myself. I'm only replying to your thread because I want to share my experiences with you, not judge you. I imagine you more than likely don't believe that, how can I say that? Because I didn't think anyone wanted to help me. I saw myself as the whipping post that everyone turned to time and time again. . . for their own sense of sick pleasure.
When I had a few weeks in Recovery, the guy who was my closest, dearest friend in the world for several years at that time, came over. We had talked on the phone several times since I got out of detox and he would laugh when I said I was serious, I was never going to use again. Like everyone else, he'd heard it so many times. Anyway, when I left the room for a minute, he got the coke out, like he always did when he came over. When I came back in the room, there was coke all over my coffee table, a very large amt. I was furious! I began yelling at him to get the f*ck out of my house and never, ever come back . . . I was shaking so hard, I was madder than hell. By getting that out, it was so disrespectful to me and my Recovery. We didn't speak for over a year. Ironically, he called me a few years later, asking me how I got clean and stayed clean. He's not using now, but he's not using any kind of Program either, so he's not too happy.
The reason I shared this with you is that if you are serious about your Recovery, don't let anyone disrespect you by bringing any type of drug into your home, whether it's alcohol, crack, pills, powder cocaine, prescriptions, weed, they are all drugs. And in answer to your question, yes, you can get in a world of sh*t if the police showed up at your door. They wouldn't care if you had never smoked crack before a day in your life. In the eyes of the law, you allowed it to take place in your home.
Katie, there have been many situations where you have let people come into your life and your home that have jeopradized your Recovery. For the time being, stay away from these people. After you have some time in Recovery, then and only then is it advisable to offer rides to someone else who is struggling.
I do care!
Judy