"Always" and "never" are not realistic. Nobody always fails. Nobody never fails. Life is difficult, but it is not written in absolutes. We alone sabotage ourselves with absolutes, as FD pointed out.
"I ALWAYS screw up."
"I NEVER make good decisions"
"I am ALWAYS so stupid in my choices for mates."
"I am NEVER attracted to nice men or nice friends."
We are what we think. Think negative, and it will be that way. Think positive, and it won't be a bed of roses, but your mindset will get you through the crap life throws your way. And you will be able to deal with it and rise above.
Hey, I messed up my life so badly you wouldn't believe it. I am in the process, with the grace and help of my HP, in rebuilding my life out of the mess I made. Why? Because I made bad choices based on bad thinking: "I ALWAYS attract addicts," "I'm a loser," "I'll die alone and nobody will care."
This was the mindset I lived with. And it kept me trapped in making horrible financial, career, and relationship decisions.
Kermit, you are a strong woman. You don't have to be a victim. You have overcome a lot of difficult stuff. Please start thinking positive. It may not make what life throws your way always positive, but it will sure make you overcome and rise above a lot of doo-doo along the way.