It's amazing how damaging that can be. My exAH left because one of the side effects of my going to Alanon was using our money to buy food. His mom and sister bought a small house for him to live in, subsidized his small wages when he worked and after he couldn't began paying for everything. Food, booze, utilities, booze, clothes, boo... you get the idea.
He's 53 maybe 54 now, had several small strokes, can't feel his legs, can't see out of the left side of both eyes, has alcoholic dementia (diagnosed). They call his drunks "seizures."
I didn't trash them or him to the kids. We've been divorced 16 years. The children figured out everything in their own time and grieved in their own ways.
I can only pray for all of them.