Hi there and welcome. when I was drinking, I was always kooking for money or material stuff to fix everything for me. When I got the big house I would be ok ....or the big car or the nice clothes, proper relationship..etc...yet I was a disaster in all these areas, when I stopped drinking and started to work the steps my thinking started changing slowly. The second half of the first step was huge for me, my life was unmanagable. When I started turning up on time to whatever it was I was doing, sober or without a hangover. when I started to face up to things, paying bills (even in small amounts) on time. keeping pride my appearance , conducting myself in an adult manner.....slowly ,slowly stuff improved and continues to improve for me. I no longer try to fill myself up with material things, I have contentment within. There is nothing wrong with having nice things, driving a nice car or going on a nice holiday but THEY did not sort out my problems. I used to travel to escape the pain in my life. what I did not realize was I took myself along so I was sitting on a beach somewhere still worring about the mess at home and probably more in debt. Now i try to keep my life in order. It works for me. The 12th step says "having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps" I feel spiritually alive today....awake...thank God. Give the steps a try and give time ..time. watch what happens. more will be revealed