Originally Posted by
isitme 
All the patience in the world is not going to stop the cycle that we are in. If I let go of my past hurt and try to openly love and give intimacy how does that stop him from hurting me again. It doesn’t. I guess that’s a choice I need to make. But I can’t force myself into that position of open intimacy at this point and I don’t think I should have to. Trust is something you earn and I feel like he needs to earn it back before I start giving again. Is it selfish to ask him to wait around for the time to be right, until I feel better?
I am curious to hear what others have to say about this. You have asked a question that I have been tossing around in my head. My AH thinks that intimacy will lead to a stronger marriage. I don't trust him and have been detaching myself from him. I need to have that trust before I can have any intimacy with him again. I think a stronger marriage will lead to intimacy. It is a crazy cycle and how do you break it?