isitme

How do you focus on yourself, with out being selfish? It sounds silly, but seriously.. how do you do this? If I live in the moment, let go of the past, stop worrying about the future, stop worrying about other peoples opinions of me and do what really makes me happy, (with out neglecting the usual responsibilities of course) do I just end up being inconsiderate?

I think maybe the “your selfish” quacking I hear has gotten into my head, but really how to you balance these items?

For instance, there are simple things that I generally won’t feel bad about: Going out with friends when I want to, taking phone calls and texts and not worry about whose listening or what I’m saying, taking the kids on play dates etc.

But what about relationship issues? I don’t feel like I should have to put on a show, or fake an emotion that just isn’t there. I shouldn’t have to feel bad about things I do or don’t want to do. I also shouldn’t have to do those things just to please the other person. Sure I care about the way it makes them feel. I don’t want to intentionally hurt them or make them feel like they’ve been pushed to the side. But I also can’t continually worry about how it makes them feel at the expense of my own happiness.

So, every time I get to this point in my slow paced recovery, I feel like I’m at a standstill. Do you just stay on course and not do anything you don’t want to do? Or do you consider the other persons feeling and bend your feelings sometimes? And if you say, well I owe it to them, how do you stop yourself from falling back into the same old patterns?