So he told me how selfish I am to want to leave him when he has this disease. He said he would never do that to me if I was ill. He also said that the reason because I do that is because I had a sheltered life. He is convinced that I had the best life ever (which is not true because like everybody I had problems) unlike him. He says that I shouldn´t complain because “even though he drinks he thinks my life is good”, he is not an aggressive alcoholic, he just drinks every 10 days locked in his room and it doesn´t make me any harm.
"Quack quack quack" This is just the quacking of an Alcoholic. I could have written this exact same thing about my AH.
You did not cause this disease, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it.
Whenever my AH would feel me pull away he would throw stuff out there like this to keep me feeling guilty and keep me there. It is a CYCLE. BUT you can choose to help yourself and not participate in it anymore. I like to call it GETTING OFF THE ROLLERCOASTER
I think you did fabulous! you recognized that you weren't ready and then you came here for advise.
I found it very helpful in the begining to educate myself about the disease as much as I could. Check out the "classic Reading" sticky at the top of this forum.
Keep posting!