Your BF sounds like a clone to my AH, 20 years ago. If I had, 27 years ago, the opportunity to see the red flags, recognize them and RUN --- I would have done it in a heartbeat! I wouldn't be trying to detach and remove myself from a 27 year relationship when I'm 43 years old. Even at this age, I know that out there, some where, there is someone who is healthy and looking for me as well. I know I won't "die" if I leave but I very well might if I stay.
By the sound of your post, he doesn't think he has a problem am I right? For me, when my husband admitted he had a problem and appeared to be trying to get help for it, I had hope. But when that dissintegrated (he doesn't have a problem, don't you know), I had none left.
My husband is (was) a great guy. He was a great father. But after his fourth dui, I knew that this was bigger than me.
I think that what everyone has said so far has been great information -- I have received such great support here in the short time I have been coming here. Keep coming and read all that you can. Try to focus on you and your life. Are your needs being met? Do you think they ever will be?
You're young with your whole life ahead of you. Don't wait until you only have half of it left.