Greetings:
I had a ong talk with someone on this issue & she is a oldtimer.
In her opinion the non addicted person stands a huge chance of a lot of anger when & if the A does change & get sober. You are forced to see them walk out the door move on with their lives & leave you anything is possibe if one is working the program & the other isn't.You are losing control over your A & were able to control & manipulate them, but u can't if they are getting better. That is what happened to her & her A, she was forced to take a hard look at how she was addicted to the ADDICT! she had nobody to rescue; no excuses no drama no real reason to NOT focus on why she was with him in the first place.
I have only been in program 9 or 10 mos now. So, I have much to learn but I must say that
jons slant is in accordance with my view, somewhat I did set boundaries & ultimatiums; but FOR ME ALONE! I would never expect an A to adhere to RULES when drugs,& or booze were really RULING them hence; why we are here to begin with. I know what I can take & how much I was willing to deal with! I didn't give an inch more.
I can't be bothered with the back & forth & insanity of it all. Thats not for me. The program has so many ppl with some many different ways of approaching it. there are alot of things that I dont care for about the program.
I took what I liked & left the rest`