Thank you all! Especially thank you Amy for such sweet comments. I cant say how much it has helped me knowing that if things got really crazy that I knew someone close by that I could run see if I needed. For so long I handled so much on my own - quietly - not telling anyone what was going on. It was just not a burden that could be handled alone and I'm so thankful for finding this site and the friends I have made on here. Its not going to all go away and I'm not done with the battle or the lessons but at least I dont feel alone anymore. That alone has made this bearable.