Spikedball.....I wanted to let you know that not all alanon meetings are the same. I've attended two so far, and they were both small enough (just 4-5 people) that everyone shared and then there was a sort of open discussion. Nobody offered advice, but then nobody had asked for any.
I do hope that you find the support you need, whether it be in alanon or not. And I hope you keep coming back here too, this place is really great!