Originally Posted by
spikedaball 
choices, respect, boundaries... all valid points.
What choices do I have? Leave? I made a commitment, a vow, "in sickness and in health".
Yes, you certainly can choose to leave or ask her to leave. The vows: "Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?"
She made these vows, too. Has she kept up her part of this promise? Does she continually bestow her heart's deepest devotion and forsake all others (including alcohol)?
Originally Posted by
spikedaball Leave the house that I have taken care of, maintained, improved? Leave the dogs with her? She can't take care of herself. I've had friends offer rooms but without the dogs. I can't afford to pay a mortgage and rent. I can't kick her out....no where for her to go. She's lost her friends and family is a long way away.
If she has no friends and nowhere else to go, that is the consequence of her actions and it is not your responsibility. If need be, you can always find good homes for the dogs or place them with friends temporarily.
Originally Posted by
spikedaball Boundaries? What good are boundaries to someone who has lost touch with realty? A person who can't remember events; Who doesn't care about walking around in public with stained clothes? Respect? Again, how can I expect respect for me, for the house, when she doesn't respect herself?
If she is walking around in stained clothes, that's embarrassing for her, not on you (even though she is unaffected at this time). Do you respect yourself? You deserve to respect yourself and to have a healthy relationship. She is your wife and you love her. Hopefully, someday, she will find her recovery and you two can enjoy the life you once planned. I hope very much that you find your own recovery as well...it's why all the folks at SR support one another.
Sending you lots of cyber support and huge hugs!:ghug
HG