Honestly, would you tell everyone at church the truth? i told some people i trusted at my church about my son but not everyone. sometimes its easier on us to just say oh he's tired instead of going into a long drawn out discussion about how he he's drunk and then have to hear everyone's opinion about what i should and shouldnt do. it's kinda like when an aquaintance asks you how your doing and you say "great" even though things suck.
it just sounds to me like she made her choice. she decided that she could handle living with the addict and all that means. i can see having some concern for children being around him but as far as her being around him - if she doesnt mind then why do you?