"...alcoholics have to own their own behavior"
I've head this sentiment before and just read it again in a recent thread. But what does that mean? Someone drinks/drives gets a DUI, gets locked up. You let them stew in jail, they caused the problem let them deal with it. But what to do when we have to live with the consequence of their addiction. What do we do when the alcoholic spills a pot of stew on the kitchen floor that you just finished cleaning and waxing after the previous spill of red wine? What do you do when the alcoholics diarrhea is so bad that they don't make it to the toilet in time and it ends up on the floor and the toilet? You point out to them what they did, but they don't care. Do you just leave it there? Do you harass them until they clean it up? And if/when they do you follow up because they still leave it a mess. How far does "owning their own behavior" go??