Thanks all of you! I can't tell you how much it helps to have what I THOUGHT I was doing OK - i.e. leaving it alone - and what it was FEELING like. It's not really about her, just my reaction and the gut feelings it was bringing up, obviously something I still need to work on so thank you! I will "assume innocence" in this case, and future cases, and in the meantime, keep on living my life and working on me and my tool-box.
As for din - anytime! Wouldn't it be fun? Wine Country with the SR gals - maybe the codie bus should fire up one of these days.
:ghug2