i am glad i came to this site. thank you for your help. I think i may have sounded a little like i hoped she was still drinking and in fat i don't. its more the fact i guess that i am hurt that she didn't come to me like she did last time that i feel i must have done some thing wrong for her to feel i couldn't help her get sober. now the only people i have contact with is my sister and my mother and i feel like i am on the out side looking in. i know that she has problems of her own a lot of them and maybe its just the old feeling of having her still need me and i got used to that (picking up her pieces) some times i think i may still be hurt from the first time he fell. i was stuck taking care f her child nd trying to hold my mother together. maybe just that this time i am more an observer my mother doesen't need me this time , my nephew is fine and my sister has picked her self up and i am not sure where i fit in.