Boys being Boys?
My 16 yo AS goes to rehab Monday - yeah! Its been tough but so far he's passed all his drug tests and hasnt run so I'm thankful. Last night I took him to dinner with his best friend, his friend's brother and mom joined us along with his old school nurse that he is very close with. both of the boys who were there have had their own troubles but are getting their lives together. Technically under his probation he shouldnt have been with them but I let him becuase they have been friends so long and because these boys are in active recovery and got their lives straightened out so i think they are a good influence. I'm very proud of both boys. We had a great time at dinner. But as I've heard others mention letting him have one thing wasnt enough - he had to have more.
We come home and are getting changed for bed. I took something to his room and when I'm shutting his door out of the corner of my eye i see something odd so I looked behind the door and low and behold there's a girl standing there. He had her sneak in the house while we were at dinner. (We live in a small house - how he thought i wouldnt know is just baffling) I told him he just went back to square one on our trust and told her that she should never allow a boy to disrespect her that much. As a woman I just found it offensive that this girl was being hidden out in his room for one last bash. I think we all know what his intentions were and I know that this girl has "bad boy syndrome." Its sad but i dont get the feeling he even likes this girl - she's just convenient.
I know i'm not the first mom to find a girl in her teenage son's bedroom but yet again we start over on the trust. We did have a good talk, while she was there, he basically ignored her and chose to talk to me instead. I knew this weekend would be the hardest - I knew that he would be tempted with one last bash. I am happy that it was a girl I found in his room and not drugs but we do have survelliance officers coming by and that would have landed him in jail. I'm dissapointed with him because he kept his cool for a month and then risks blowing it just a few days before he goes for someone that i dont even think he really likes.
In hindsight i'm wondering if i shoud have even allowed him to see the friends - not because of them but because of him. I bent the rules because I thought that it would be good for him but did i then tell him it was okay to bend rules himself?