HEY JOHN,
greetings from the other end of texas, and from the wife of the "other" 14-year sober alcoholic.
i applaud you for sticking with your wife after all those years, and i disagree with the counseling approach just as smoke does.
in my case, jim and i only have 5 years together (i never knew him when he was drinking) and i am not willing to live in a dry drunk marriage. neither one of us wants to file divorce papers, but neither do we want to live together. we are both pretty stubborn.
hoorah for boundaries!! i don't know how i managed my life before i discovered the concept. hoorah for detaching with love. hooray for one day at a time.
keep coming back. i'll be interested to hear what happens to you.
marie.