I'm so glad you walked away from the XABF AND the crack. I intertwined the two, so much, that I let them both take over my life. Had I been able to walk away from the XABF, early enough, I think I could have also walked away from the crack, because that had not been a part of my life, prior to being involved with him. Instead, I got deeper and deeper into the lifestyle.
My only suggestion is that now that you HAVE done crack, make absolutely sure, you never even entertain the ideal of doing it "just once". You've released a demon, and it will be with you forever, but I think you know that.
I think you are like me....seeing the codie side AND the addict side. It's a huge eye-opener, but it has given me a lot of insight, and has made me more aware of things I thought were "helping" that were actually "hurting".
Hugs and prayers!
Amy