My son is 17 he is from my exAH who we haven't seen in years. I've been married to my current AH for the past 8 years. My son started dating a girl from a very problematic family about 6 months ago. She is the sister of his best friend who went into the marines. I felt they got too close too fast; but worse then that her mother has been verbally abusing him. He is a type A personality and hard to deal with. I've been able to put my foot down and limit his time at her house due to the mom.
Between the girl and the mom; he has stopped hanging out with anyone but her. He now is always angry and constantly is degrading and disrespectful to women. It feels as if my loving son is becoming the same kind of monster as the addicts in my life. I've talked with him. Fought with him. I'm trying to pick my battles here. I have NO good male role models. I'm seeing red flags everyplace! I'm worried that by the time I get away from my AH, I'm going to be living with a whole other monster.
I don't know what to do. I feel telling him to break-up with her will just drive them closer. That's what the problems with the mom has done. In fact if it wasn't for that; a few times he may have already broken up with her.
I feel like some of this is my fault with my own bad relationship. Not knowing what was happening with this mom sooner. And I'm guilty because I'm so sick of dealing with crap in my life I would really like to ship him off to my EX and tell him to deal with Pre-man ball of anger!!! I've tried putting him in Al-Ateen and therapy; he's above that. Honestly, when I read the red flag post I see my own son in some of those and it breaks my heart!!! I'm doing all I can and he just keeps going the wrong way and I can't get him to put the breaks on.
The worst part is I brought him into these bad relationships; I'm responsible for this....
How long do you cry over that?