Frustrated w/sister
Sorry this is soo long: I will give a little background before my vent; My older sister who is 42 has been drinking since we were in high school. She was raised by my dysfunctional mother and I was raised by my father in another state (sister came back and forth between the homes every few years). Sister had baby when she was in her 20's, the father left her, never paid child support, has been in jail up to recently. Sister worked as bartender in strip clubs in the past, and now works as a waitress in an upscale restaurant.
Over the years she has repeatedly called me drunk from her state to tell me that she hates me, to threaten suicide, or to just cry on the phone for hours. She has no friends, and no stable relationships, because she burns everyone out with her drunk behavior and her neediness when sober. She hit bottom in July , moved home with my mother, and decided to stop drinking. She won't go to AA, see's a therapist sporadically, and refuses to talk about being an alcoholic. Instead she says that she is focused on going to the gym 2x's a day so that she will "look hot" and get any guy she wants (because that will solve her problems). Even sober she is hard to deal with because she only talks about herself, calls multiple times a day, if I am unavailable she makes nasty comments about how she isn't important enough to be a priority.
Since July she has been relapsing about every 30 days. She also enrolled back in college again. I am pregnant and just came back from vacation this week. My welcome back phone call on Monday was her drunk about how she is sick of me and wants me to leave her alone...etc. Her 20y.o. daughter called me upset because she has been binge drinking for the past week.
I woke up last night and was just alternating between anger at her and wanting to write her off; and worry about what will happen if I am not there for her. I feel bad because she brings out the worst in me and I often lose my temper with her and then feel guilty. I always address with her the drunk phone behavior and usually get a reluctant sorry and justification for why she relapsed and is now done with it. I let my brother know about her relapseand he will probably call her, but I am just furious at her for continuing this cycle. I am sick of having to listen to her woe is me stories about her life and nasty comments to me because my life must be perfect because I am married, have a home, career, etc.