First and foremost, I want to say how proud I am of you. That was huge. Not the best reaction, and that part sucks.
I've been there, let me tell you a bit about myself if you don't mind..I do have to say that as many times as I've said I wanted to 'cut down', 'only drink on weekends', 'take a break', my hubby was pretty 'yah ok, whatever' about it, 'we'll see'. I always failed, and always caved.. we're drinking buddies after all! (sarcasm). At first he even said "I WANT to be able to go out and party with my sig other.. ", he didn't get it.. YET.
Then I hit a few bottoms, or whatever you want to call it, said that I wasn't going to drink again. Then, as manipulative as my addiction mind works, I slowly warmed him up to the idea that it was ok for me to drink again, I 'proved' I didn't have to drink all crazy with a month of sobriety. HA. Then I started hiding it again, drinking more etc etc.
Here we are today, THIS final go 'round. I had to flat out tell him, "I am not drinking ever again, I can't anymore." Of course by now I got the "yeah right.. we'll see", and I DONT BLAME HIM. I had been deceitful not only with my drinking, but also about the severity of the problem I was having. A week went by... still sober, still got the "eh.. good job.. we'll see". I entered counseling, promised myself and him that I was doing everything I could to make this stick. I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to lose my marriage.
I think part of your hubby's reaction has to do with not believing you YET. Also, I'm sure it's putting a lil spotlight on his drinking.. as we all know, if everyone around us is drinking, we can't be THAT bad right? lol..
I think tomorrow will be 40 days for me. It has taken this long (within the past week or 2) for him to be so very proud of me, to believe in me, and finally do whatever it takes to support me. This is damn serious business, and he's starting to get it, a little bit at a time.
Now.. as for the daughter thing. I agree w/ what TSH said. That is not a responsibility that a child should EVER have. Quit for you, quit for your family, but can you imagine her devastation if you started drinking again? May as well put all that money you're saving on not drinking into a therapy fund for her. I grew up in an alcoholic house. I took on that responsibility, I lost a lot of my childhood, and had some pretty severe resentment issues for a very long time. If anything, just tell her that you're making healthy changes in your life, and that she should see some great things happen with you. Period. I think teenagers more than adults respond best with the "actions speak louder than words" thing. How great would it be a month or 2 down the road for her to say.. "did you quit drinking?? I haven't noticed you drinking at ALL anymore", and just nod, "yep.. part of me being healthy, so that I can be a better person for me, for you, and our family".
Ok I rambled, but this really hit home for me. I am SO proud of you. Do this for you, we'll be here along the way. :ghug3