Addiction is not personal. She is not doing those things to you to hurt you. She is doing them because she is an addict. My daughter is my addict. At one point during her active addiction, we did not see each other for 7 months. Was it because she did not love or care about me. No, it was because using heroin was what she lived for. My daughter has told me that using means spending 23 hours of a day thinking about using, trying to find the money to use, trying to find the dope and then using. Doesn't sound like there is much time left for thinking about cleaning up one's life or rehab or relationships. Having a relationship with an active addict is a one way street and a thankless job. So my advice to you (and this comes from experience) is to let her go and let her take responsibility for what she wants to do with her life. NO amount of caring from you will make her want to get clean until SHE is ready. Her family and other friends may care for her deeply but have been so hurt by her addiction that they have decided to take care of themselves, which is something that you should consider doing. Hugs, Marle