Hi JerseyGirl
My two cents:
Letting go does not equal "do nothing" or "keep receiving the crumbs"
Quite the contrary,
Letting go is going from passive to active, instead of living "in reaction" to a situation or a person in your life, you take control of what you want to do, how YOU manage your feelings and start focusing on you and what makes you comfortable and happy... for YOUR self and enjoyment... (thanks Melodie Beattie for making me understand this!!)
Letting go in regards to other people is not letting them do as they please and say "Ok its Gods work.. I have no power"
Letting go is to build your own inner strength so you can draw a healthy line between you and others...and that's where asking for your needs to be met, being more assertive, etc. can help you
I am glad you are working step 1 because I am too and I am glad you started this thread. You are not alone!