Hello Confused....LJM... Sophiemaxie....
I wonder. LJM, you say your husand thinks he is the only one affected by his drinking. My addict, "Dino" would sometimes say very similar things, but on the other hand, sometimes used the suffering he was causing me or his family as an excuse to use. The "guilt" of his abuse led him to abuse more. Talk about a viscious circle.
It is so very hard to accept that an addict believes they are the only one they are hurting. Deep down, I'm betting he knows better, and I would chalk that one up to denial. Please don't feel guilty about refusing to resume your life with him if he doesn't make a commitment to sobriety. I had to stop feeling guilty about the loan sharks and drug dealers that regularly threatened Dino when I didn't come up with the cash he owed them. When he got roughed up, I could only say and think "you chose this". Fortunately, he seems to be making better choices now.
You have the right to make choices about your own life. Among those, to not have an addict causing havoc for you. The next choice is his.
Smoke