Originally Posted by
GiveLove 
Hi Jerseygirl,
--I am powerless over alcohol...
....which you are. You can't control your ABF's drinking, nor anyone else's. Alcohol is cheap, legal, and readily available. You can no longer exert any power over someone else's relationship with alcohol than you can control the spin of the earth.
See, I understand that.....I CAN'T control ABF's drinking. Absolutely. I HAVE always controlled mine (given, I don't have the addiction issues, but still, I have controlled mine well over a lifetime). I NEVER once got behind the wheel of a car with more than one drink consumed that day - and never within a couple hours of having had that drink. If I ever had a hard day at work and my impulse was "I need a drink", those were the days I chose to NOT drink...I would rather straight face my feelings, work through them, not numb out from them. So, while I might not have the disease of alcoholism, I nonetheless still have managed my alcohol consumption at all times in my life. I was always gladly a designated driver...no bigggie. I AM in control of alcohol FOR ME. (Now, Tostitos with spicy salsa might be a different story....but that can be another post, lol). I have been faced with decisions about drinking, and (I believe) have always made wise ones. How is that not in control or powerless?
So to say the words I am powerless over alcohol....I can't buy into it. I'm not. I have always managed to control it. I control MY drinking....and I always have. But I can say - I am powerless over anyone's ELSE'S alcohol consumption/alcoholism...that I am comfortable with, that I can *get* and accept and work with. But is re-phrasing Step One to say - I am powerless over another person's alcohol consumption is not going to work, I may stay stuck here for a VERY long time.
There are a lot of things in my life I am *powerless* over.....many things....but alcohol is not one....that is something I have and do have control of.
Oh, and yes, ABF is working his program....he has (this time around) gone 83 days since his last drink....there are some residual issues regarding his decision to smoke pot right now....so if my opinion were asked, I would not call him sober....but he is working things through, going to meetings most nights, working with two sponsors, etc. If he were actively drinking, I might be in his life as a friend, but no more....