Just a thought
Please take what you want of this and leave the rest, but one thing that you have to understand is why you may gravitate to men who might be unhealthy. What needs to be asked is, is your BF working or trying to work a recovery program. If not, what can you do, if anything to assist him in working a program or should you stay with him. For instance, if a person stayed with an alcoholic despite the negative impact of his use, then that person maybe powerless over their codependence or another underlying issue. I agree that you are powerless over the alcoholic, but to work a step one, you need to find the addictive, obsessive, or complusive behavior that has had a negative impact in your life. That is where your answer lies. Keep looking and you shall find.