I am powerless over alcohol (it doesn't matter who drinks it, it doesn't have to be me) and other people
My life is unmanageable (by me) I can't "control" the alcoholics in my life or how much they drink or how they behave, I can't "manage" the "externals" in my life.
God does for us what we can't do for ourselves, so whatever we can do for ourselves is our responsibility, such as leave, or change our attitude, etc. but realizing that we are powerless over someone else and their consumption of alcohol, then we turn our feelings and the situation over to God.
We take the action, then let go of the result.
The way I heard it explained is it's my job to throw sh1t at the wall, it's God's job what sticks, I'm not in charge of adhesion, but I'm in charge of what actions I am going to take.
It's very subtle, but it's the beginning of a process where our actions stop being a tool for manipulation. I also expected the alcoholics to be "reasonable", my "requests" all seemed so "reasonable", but it turned out I was behaving a certain way in order to get certain "results" from them (seemed reasonable) that ultimately were manipulation.
It's really very cut and dried, I can't control whether or not someone else drinks, and I can't control their actions, and I can't control the outcome of any situation.
hence:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable"
You can list everything you are powerless over, and specific examples of unmanageable and that helps to get a clearer picture of what you are up against.
By the way, there is no such thing as a stupid question, I am very proud of you for stepping up and asking this, that shows an admirable commitment to recovery, well done.