gneiss

Darn German words... haha. I put the pronunciation up there for other people. It's a weird word but I thought it might help folks read it more easily.

Well... today it really started to hit me in a big way that no drinking and no drugs means no friends. I had such a fun and active social life. Before I was drinking and drugging I could make friends with anyone and now I am out of practice. I don't know where to go to hang out and meet people other than bars. My best friend moved almost 200 miles away and is doing a great job cleaning up from doing drugs, and working 12-hour shifts 6 or 7 days per week so I hardly get to talk to him.

I have two friends left locally. There's one girl who is really trying to be my friend, she's a nice person but she's impulsive, loud, and crude to the point of being embarrassing. She reminds me of myself at age 14 or so, but she's in her mid-twenties. It makes me limit my time with her. My other local friend's new roommate (his cousin) makes me so uncomfortable I won't hang out at their apartment. They drink, but my friend has never pressured me to drink; his new roommate has though. The new roommate keeps loaded guns and a small pharmacy with enough Rx pain killers and anti-depressants to kill a small army (oxycontin, hydrocodone, methadone, tramadol, seroquel, oxycodone, lexapro, xanax, etc. I can't even remember them all), and drinks about half a bottle of vodka every night. Basically, I really miss my buddy but his roommate makes me worry for a) my sobriety, and b) my physical safety. So unless I can convince him to put down the beer and leave his apartment, I guess I won't be hanging out with him.

It's a lonely road, this sobriety thing.