Originally Posted by
pegasus 
Thank you both so much for the quick reply.
Suemarie:I can almost bet he will beg you to let him come back and he may throw the guilt trip at you ( manipulation) but stay strong and don't let him push your buttons!
You are so right about the manipulation, this is where he gets me every time. He uses the kids and tries to make me feel quilty. By saying things like " stop using the kids against me" or "you know they love me why would you hurt them by not letting them see there father" blah, blah, blah
My CH tells me that he can't promise that he wont ever use again. But saying that toaday he doesn't and hopes that he never will. This is probably the most truthful thing he's ever said. He says he has to take it one day at a time. But I feel that it is unfair for him to think I can live one day at a time. That doesn't give me any comfort. Nothing will change in my thinking and everyday I will wonder if this is the day he falls off. Not a way to live.
So now I will have to go see a lawyer and get custody. I am just so tired of all of this. I cant wait for it to be over. But sadly I dont think that he will accept this easily.
Please just pray that I can really do it this time, for good
Peg
Oh yes, I can see how he can USE the kids as a manipulative tactic to come back. See what I mean? Its all about them and thier continuance to use thier drug. They will
say and
do whatever they can. He's not thinking about what he does to his family. He thinks like an
addict.
"My CH tells me that he can't promise that he wont ever use again." Thats what they all say. My exch kept saying the same thing, its an "out" for them. They also know that they love thier drug more than anything. Its funny though, one day they promise it will never happen again and they next day they can't promise it will happen again.... Grrrrrr! They know how to keep you running in circles!
I also, wanted to comment on your other post about his mother. OMG! thats exactly what I had to deal with. My ex mother-in-law was the biggest enabler like yours. I too had a terrible time trying to convince her and the rest of the family that they were actually supporting his habit. They couldn't see it. All they could see was that he needed thier help and they were scared to see him die but what they don't realize is that they
are helping him to die. So I wanted to let you know that you arent alone with that problem. I know just how you feel. Its frustrating. I wanted to yell at her "what part of
NO don't you understand?" Geeezzz
I hope things are going ok for you. You and the kids are still in my thoughts and prayers. :praying