Pernell- PRAYER thoughts
I've been thinking about what you said about Prayer. For me, the post said "go to step 4, go directly to step 4. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200." My prayer is selfish. At first I prayed for HP to fix Dino... but that was for me. "Fix him so he doesn't drive me crazy". Then I prayed for me "Fix me so Dino doesn't drive me crazy." I know the second is closer to what I needed to be doing. But I know that in spite of the fact that sometimes he just looks like an unrepentant jerk... Dino hurts too. He is confused and guilty and longing for something he doesn't know how to get. I'm trying to remember that. And I'm trying to get my head into a place where... when I DO pray for Dino, it's for him... and not for something that will make ME feel better. C.S. Lewis said something like "Prayer doesn't change God, it changes me." Now I'm praying for help to remember that in Dino, there is a person who "feels", not just "does"... and that his disease is not about me.
It still sometimes feels like I'm playing "pin the tail on the donkey" in a foolproof blindfold. But, thanks for the spin in the right direction.
Smoke
[This message has been edited by smoke gets in my eyes (edited December 26, 2001).]