Autumnperfect,
Please know that you are not losing your mind, even if you are feeling depressed. It's normal to feel depressed in your situation. Your world, as you thought it was, is falling apart.
What you did was smart; you protected yourself and your child right off the bat. Congratulations. The time for questions can come after your both safe.
Please read the following post by Jon. He's the founder of SR, and a recovering addict. He tells it like it is; no holds barred.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html
Although it's a difficult read, it's important for us to fully understand that the addict cannot love us - ever. They cannot because they do not love themselves. Without self love, there can never be love for another. That's the painful truth.
Your situation *is* painful. I feel for you and your child. It could be much worse, though. You are not trying, in vain, to "fix" him; being hurt over and over when that inevitably fails and continually being surprised. If you need to see a counselor or talk to your doctor about this situational depression you are experiencing, do so. But, do know that, this too shall pass.
You are on a healthy road Autumn... And you *will* be ok.
Continue to come and share how it's going for you. We're here for you, and we *do* understand.
Shalom!