It takes a REALLY long time for us to learn to let go. It is not a competency that comes to codependents (like me) very easily.
One thing that helped me is to write out all the "stories" I was telling myself. It sounds like you had some pretty scary stories you told yourself about your ABF's safety, motorcycle, etc.
Once I've looked at the stories, I ask myself - what do I know for sure is actual fact and what am I making up out of my own fears. That usually helps me see how I am scaring myself.
I also noticed that I would tell myself 57 different stories about my addict and some other thing would actually happen. I think I tried to tell myself stories so I could act to fix or control the situation and maintain an illusion of control in an uncontrollable situation. After noticing this for a while I started giving up the stories.
When I gave up telling myself scary stories, I was left with just the facts. (Like, my addict is in jail and I don't know what's going on and the authorities won't tell me, period).
Once I looked at the facts, I realized just how helpless I was to control the situation. Which left me with just my life and what I wanted to do for myself - which for me was the real question. Who am I without my addict.
I've spent the last year answering that question and I'm still working on it.
I hope you are able to notice your "stories" and let go with love - both for yourself and your addict. In this life, its all we can do to "fix" ourselves - it is an inside job.
Prayers that you find peace and freedom.