No, you're not crazy - just addicted. I wanted to stop drinking so badly but couldn't do it by myself, and even with the help of counseling, rehab three times, AA, and this site, it was still seven months after I decided to quit that I was able to stay sober. You've come to a good place for support. There is also a secular forum you may want to look at if you have problems with the religious aspect of AA.
Welcome!
