Actually you are doing just fine. You are starting to realize that your worrying is wasted energy. That is an improvement because you are seeing your problems and trying to do something about them. You are beginning to get insight. That is a good thing. It is really hard to change long standing patterns but the fact that you want to is a good beginning. And you have learned a very important lesson. The lesson that your addict is capable of doing things for himself (ie. taking care of the motorcycle). Now you know that if he wants to be clean, he can find a way. He does not need you for that. Kind of freeing isn't it. You can move forward with your life and he can with his if he chooses to do so. Do something nice for yourself and your child today. Try to spend the day thinking about what you want and stop beating yourself up about the past. It is over and done and you can only learn from it and let it go. Hugs, Marle