Sn0man

Hi folks! I'm new to this site, and just wanted to get some stuff of my chest.

I'm both an alcoholic and an addict. I'm a successful 29 year old businessman, with a college education and a good family. Don't ask me how this happened to me because I don't exactly know, though I think it's been a culmination of thousands of things since childhood.

I'm not your wake up in the morning drinker. In fact I will often go several days, even weeks, without a drink. But if I have 1, I have 100. Or at least i'll drink untill the heartburn is so bad I can no longer stomach it.

Plus, I do Coke. I hate that I do it. I have told myself literally hundreds of times that I will not do it again, only to go out drinking and then do it again. I sit here with a half ball in front of my face snorting coke as I type, and a fridge full of beer, wine and rye that I am more than happy to plunder.

I hope I have found the right place to talk about these sorts of things. I have a problem, and I need to change. I don't know where to start, but I know I need to start somewhere. I'm not religious, so don't bring that up - I was raised christian but I reject religion; It is a crux of violence.

I believe I am a good person, but I realize that I may be mistaken. I could be the very evil that I resent.

Can someone tell me that i'm not crazy? Or am I?

Help...