Before I do something for anyone else, I ask myself..."Is this something that they can and should be doing for themselves?"
That helps me stay on a good course. Doing something nice for someone just because we want to and it comes from our heart and leaves no negative impact on ourselves and for which we have no expectations, is just a nice thing to do.
Doing something for someone else to control them or make them feel needy, or because we have been manipulated or feel guilty, is caretaking at its worst.
The most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and let others take responsibility for themselves.
Amen to that.
Hugs