No, Gwendy. You aren't a terrible person. You are a victim of these horrible pills, of a merciless addiction, just like I am. I am a mother as well, with four beautiful growing children, who have watched me go from tired and lethargic on the couch to happy and energetic when the pills get here.
Its got to be confusing for them. Consider yourself lucky, if you will, that your husband is against you taking the pills. My boyfriend is also addicted. The blind leading the blind.
I haven't had a pill since 6:00 last night. I'm not feeling so hot. I am also going back and forth with whether I want to quit or not. I know it's not MY voice in my head, its the addiction playing with me.
Please know, if nothing else, that you are not alone. There are many of us going through the same thing, at the same time.
Tell your little child that mom isnt feeling well, she must have caught a flu. Hang in there.