Amy, it's amazeing what a 'day' of thinking/rest/writing can do to soothe the soul.
Be proud of yourself for working so hard to get through YOUR own problems with addiction and recovery.
Leave that hard work up to them as well.
It must hurt like heck to feel powerless over people who SHOULD be care-takeing for you, (by the laws of nature) parents watch over and worry about children, not the other way around.
That has always been my saving grace, that I have to stay strong for my kids, so they NEVER have to worry about me.
As it is - my kids 'worry' if they see me 'sad'..... It breaks my heart. Kids at ANY age shouldn't have to have that burden.
I'm sorry that you have to walk that road. I guess it goes back to what my mom always told me. She always said that we don't choose the deck of cards that god gave us. It's our job to play the hand to the best of our ability, and that he dosen't give us anything we can't handle, or that we weren't supposed to have for his own reasons.
Hugs,
Cessy