I finally accepted the "let go and let God" part. Just took a day
Yesterday, dad told me he's checking into filing bankruptcy. I do feel bad for him, as he has tried hard to not have to do this. I know this is also not my problem. However, I did agree to pay him $100/week in rent when I moved back home, and have not done so since the robbery on Oct. 5, until last week, because my hours were cut, at work, so drastically. I also haven't been able to pay him back money he loaned me in June, when I totaled my car, because that's the first time they cut my hours.
He's never asked for the money, as he knows I didn't have it. Anyway, he talked to a lawyer, who says they can't help him because his van (that he uses for work) is paid for by the 2nd mortgage on the house and they will take it, leaving him no way to work. I called my lawyer, who I know from my old AA group (2 hours away). He gave me a name of a bankruptcy lawyer, and said to have dad call him and tell him he referred him, and tell him of mine and his connection (AA) and he may be able to help.
So, of course, stepmom says "my nerves are shot, I need to lay down". It didn't even phase me. I've accepted that this is her way of dealing with stuff..taking pills and/or sleeping through it. Dad will actually meet most problems, head on, except when it comes to addiction or illness, then he becomes an ostrich and sticks his head in the sand.
I have my own character defects, and those are the only ones I'm responsible for. I am glad that he came to me, to talk about the bankruptcy. He values my opinion, and that means a lot to me. We even discussed him selling me the van, but they look for things like that, so it wouldn't work. The fact that he would be willing to do that, made me realize that he now trusts me 100%, and that's pretty awesome, for this recovering crack addict
Hugs and prayers!
Amy