changes only with God's help
Dear al-anon friends- I have been blessed to have found alanon. For 17 years I struggled on my own with my husband's drinking. Three and 1/2 years ago I was told by a friend to attend al-anon because she saw how I was obcessed with my husband's drinking. I quickly learned that al-anon was for me and not for my husband! I realized immediately that I could no longer tell my husband what to do about his drinking (of course I'm good about telling him what he should do in other aspects of his life!).
I have now reached a point however, where I need to tell him how I feel about his drinking- this is different than telling him how much to drink. I have recently told him that I am going to al-anon- he was disturbed by this and wondered how much he could still drink per day and me not go to al-anon! Of course I told him al anon was for me and not him.
But lately I've really been hurt by watching him drink. I realize that it is his decision to continue drinking. I finally told him that his drinking is interferring with our relationship. Obviously he didn't agree. I know that I'm no angel in our relationship and that I must keep the focus on changing myself.
My prayer now is that I trust that the Lord will provide me with the strength I need to take one day at a time.
I'm married to an individual who does have a lot of compassion and is very athletic. We enjoy doing a lot of things together. Most aspects of our relationship are good. Al-anon has helped me become a better wife to him.
Thanks for letting me share. If anyone has comments, please do so!