It's funny I don't see many posts here where people are telling others to leave their spouses. I see a lot of posts here where people are suggesting the spouse "get out of the situation" they are in. To me, that "situation" is the unhealthy codependent cycle. Often the "situation" involves layers of denial that it is beneficial to strip away so spouses are dealing with reality and not illusion or memory.
I do know people who, without completely destroyng themselves were able to get themselves into recovery from their codependence regardless of whether their spouse continues to drink or finds sobriety. I met those people in AlAnon and they worked their program. Some can do that while living under the same roof- some need to separate - but that doesn't necessarily mean divorce.
I'm glad your AH found sobriety, and you were able to create a new workable marriage. What did you do in those 15 years to cope with his alcoholism while still in the same house? Did you attend AlAnon or have any support. 15 years of daily drinking is an awful looooong time!
I had to learn to have hope but to not get my hopes up or have expectations regarding the alcoholics in my family. That takes a lot of discipline for me.
welcome and glad you're here!
Peace-
B.